Would you live your whole life not knowing love? Or would you risk your heart to have a taste of it?
We all grew up first loving our parents or parent. But how about if our parents or parent wasn’t worthy of our love? What of then? I think as children we are vulnerable and are easily suaded into thinking what love is. An abusive parent could manipulate a child into thinking if they were hit it was because they were loved. Or a parent could taint a child’s view of love by an inappropriate touch. By the time we are in our adolescent years we reflect on that by how love is.
Now we go through first love, puppy love, as I would like to say it. So now what? You get butterflies in your tummy, you blush when your crush sees you, you try to be all macho for the one you like, you hide yourself to try to be someone else, and then we try explore what these feelings are.
We ask ourselves would they like me? Do you think they would call? Am I pretty enough? Am I smart enough? Am I just enough? The list goes on and on and on. Why do we put ourselves through it? Was that really our first experience of love? I know mine was. We were told our childhood molds us so it is plausible to have all these doubts. Even children from loving homes would have doubts. Was it because they were shown so much love and affection that they wouldn’t know how to receive it from outside of their family? Well, we are also just talking about adolescent years here so I wouldn’t know what to tell you. All I know is when my children ask me what love is, especially at a tender age, I would say doubt is not love. Once you start doubting yourself they are not worthy of your affections.
Now to adulthood.
By this time do we have any grasp what love is? Or are we still searching for it? I’ve spoken to many people on what they think or feel on this subject. Some are undoubtedly in love and you can see it on their faces.Their eyes light up, they have this infectious grin, and they can’t stop talking about it. Their love story’s was worth a happy ending.
Some haven’t found it. Some lost it. Some thought they found it and are now trapped in a loveless relationship. And some stay in a relationship for responsibility reasonings.
Why do they torment themselves? Wouldn’t they want more?
I know I did. I didn’t want to stay in a loveless marriage. I didn’t want a marriage of convenience and I definitely did not want to stay in an emotional abusive relationship. So I made my choice and searched for “More”.
My “more” which I found, well we found each other, has been a dream come true. He’s understanding, makes me laugh often, loving him in private is carnal bliss, and being loved by him is pure magic.
As an adult I could truly say I found love. It took heartache, self learning, self loving, and a lot of forgiving to get here but I did. To me love is sacrificing, endless and heaven on earth.
A lifetime worth having.
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